This is simply a blog for me, more than happy to have others follow and share but have been told to write my life, my feelings, my hurt and my happiness. Found it theraputic writing my own thoughts down privately but hiding it away, pointless. Grew up in a world where if you had nothing to say don't say it, don't burden others with your problems and that basically children should be seen not heard.
This attitude has carried in to my adult life, suppressing everything and after living 40 years and experience more than the average person I thought that putting pen to paper would help me live the next 40 years better off.
My life is simple, but in this short 40 years which has flown by so fast I have experienced things that friends believe make me a strong person, but there are some nights I get home and wish the world away. I spose we all feel like that at times and if I can share my thoughts, my life, my love, my hurt and even my hate I could feel some sense of worth and maybe even make you feel like "Life is worth Living" too and maybe give me the strength to carry on and keep fighting.
If you follow this, my plan is simple. I am not a diary keeper, nor a story teller so my blogs may be random at times, or just when I get that quiet moment in a month to sit down and put pen to paper or should I say for the younger generation typing to text.
I plan to clear my head of thoughts and move on, I have been doing that for all my life but feel some memories just never leave you and you need to deal with them, accept them and learn from them.
I'm going to touch on a few things randomly depends on my day, what is making me happy or sad and I am just gonna go for it. I do not mean anyone harm, will not name anyone or try to blame others for things that are most likely mine to bare but if you read this and you know who I am or you think of someone who sounds like me, know that we are not all much different from each other. I don't think there is a perfect life out there everyone feels the same, has the same headaches and maybe even the same family!
Will just quickly type a brief discription of my life. I am much much luckier than many and with no disrespect to anyone I am very lucky to have a healthy child, not suffered from anything terminal or carry a disabilty that hampers me from doing anything I want. But suffered the typical woes of life, getting by like everyone else.
Quick Profile
* One of the middle children in a family of 12
* Strong catholic parents with a father preaching more than religion yes the law. Extreme catholic cop! Not a believer in God myself, lost that hope many years ago.
* Many car accidents, none caused by myself - 'touch wood' as they say
* Told I could never have children, and blessed immensely with one healthy happy girl
* Burns to 40% of my body, surving an explosion and continuing my life as normal
* Being told by my ex I am not attractive enough for him . . seemed to be more painful than the burns!
* Thought the love of my life was that but then left me for a woman who supposidly said to me I was a "good friend" Yep that's 20 years of committment gone, a man who couldn't tell me what I had done.
wow!! I'm sorry just realised I don't really have much to feel sad about . . . . therapy working already
* Met a man, who seems to think I'm the world, sexy, caring, loving and fun. There really is someone out there for everyone. He may or may not be Mr Right but now willing to open up to find out.
* Still imbred in me that marriage is for life and wondering what went wrong, need to shake that!
* Trying to convince my self of "Treat them mean and keep them keen" yet can't quite do it right LOL
. . . . Anyway my thoughts for the day have all slipped away, just quickly typing this has made me feel so calm and content.
So goodnight world sleep well and I will talk again soon.
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